Monday, January 12, 2015

Renaults must run in the family

Ok, so oddly enough, after my parents separated and divorced and found awesome partners my mother AND father both bought a Renault. Are ya ready for this one? All I can say is that I learned my lesson the first time, I didn't drive it backwards. My Father's Renault was a 4 door sedan; my Mother's was a 2 door hatchback. I know, SO WHAT, right?!
(not actual picture, however, it was black, and too was my Dad's)
On a delightful afternoon after waiting patiently for my mother to approve my request of borrowing her car I was handed the keys. One stipulation, "you cannot have any friends riding with you, understood?" I acquiesced and politely said thank you at the same that my italian 5' 1/2" mother was pointing her finger at me. To say the least, all reality was gone. I was handed the keys to a car! A living breathing car. We were going to be so good together that day as we gallivanted around the city stopping here and there showing off our relationship.

Defiantly, me and a car full of friends were the only things on mind. Again, what a dumbass. Selfish, ignorant, and alone with the car. Aaaah! What a feeling. So onto my first friend's house. I picked him up and he put in Motley Crue. Now we're talking! Cruisin' singing along on our way to the second friend. What a good time we were having.

Within 1/2 an hour the car was full. I was the  talk of the town. Me, a car, and my friends. We had planned to go see a movie or something, I can't exactly remember. En route to the movies! Yeah!

Now, as you have read in my previous posts, I am an unfortunate young driver. Jammin' out with friends waiting at a light. The light turns green and we don't move. Whatever started the wave of impatience is irrelevant. The fact that a car waiting at green light with a bunch of testosterone filled young punks was inexcusable. The right lane freed up so I decided to move out of traffic and make the light. WHAM! Sideswiped on the right. I didn't see that one comin'. My Mother is going to kill me. Oh my god (way before OMG) what have I done?! Not only did I disobey my Mom but I managed to use my youthful ignorance to cave in the side of the car.

Needles to say, I didn't go to the movies, I darted home. I walked in the door and my Mother knew instantly that something was wrong. I must have been whiter than a sheet. I began to tell her and I can still see her face today. What a memory! Love you Mom!

Moral of the story: A Mother's love is unconditional.

Alternate moral: Look before ya turn right you imbecilic kid!

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Racing with M3 - "M3" Is that a typo?

I am going to attempt to clear the murky waters. Some of you may have noticed while others haven't that the title reads "M3" in the title instead of "ME". There is a purpose for this title.

I have always enjoyed language that involves a twist of humor. In my classroom my students roll their eyes whenever I say, "are you ready for a joke?" Some of them go as far as to mimic puking and violently gagging. But I, think my jokes are rather funny. I even tell my students that I am the funniest guy I know. Haha! Anyway, I get a kick out of using sarcasm and puns. They are enjoyable, to say the least. Before I get too carried away let me further discuss my love of language and the reason behind the title.

Since I wanted to share my driving experiences and my love for vehicles with you I felt that I needed a catchy title, "one that would grab you"! So, I decided to title it "Racing with Me". However, "Racing with Me" was just too bland! I just couldn't live with myself with a title like that.

Reader, "why am I reading this blog. This narcissistic doinker thinks 
I really care about his passion for driving".

As I was about to hit the publish button it occurred to me that the title was very boring, dry, mundane, and whatever other adjective that comes to your mind. 

WHAT WAS I THINKING!!! I HAVE AN M3. WHY NOT TITLE IT "Racing with M3". 

Yeah, that's it i'll title it "Racing with M3"! dang, I am one clever guy. And funny too, just ask my students. 

OR

The alternate version. Did I just hit the 3 key by mistake! You decide. Am I clever or just plain clumsy?

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Trying to drive

So, at a young age 15 my step mother decided to take me out in our third of a mile driveway and teach me how to use a clutch. Simply put, we both tasted what we had for breakfast. As the car lurched forward the whole third of a mile down the driveway we were both grinning from ear to ear because of my ignorance. 
(not actual car)

It was a black Renault Alliance with tan interior. I liked it. Really I liked being in any car. My senses and emotions extended far beyond anything I ever felt. The mere fact of extending the capabilities of my hands and feet, as well as my vision, was something I was never able to describe. 

Anyway, Donna described to me what to do. I can't remember exactly what she said, "let the clutch out as you push in the gas". Simple enough. I think we went fro zero to twenty in two seconds. The engine quit. Ok no big deal lets try again she said. 

Time went by and by and I was doing pretty well with the clutch and I go my license. My father said I could use the car but gave me a twenty five mile limit. Well, I went to pick up my friend went to Naples and came back to drop him off at home. I looked down and the odometer showed I had traveled twenty six miles and I wasn't even home yet. As I stated earlier I was pretty ignorant. Using my intelligent ignorance I decided to travel  backwards for a few miles. Going forward puts miles on the car so backing up should delete miles, right? WRONG! As I turned around at the end of the driveway ready to go forward to house with my head high thinking I was really smart I looked down at the speedometer. Oh my god! The speedometer said the same thing. I knew I was going to get it. With my tail between my legs and my head hung low I slapped the shifter into first and let the clutch out just like my stepmother told me. Ow! the sound coming from under the hood was not good. A knocking sound that wasn't any usual knocking sound. I had bent the rods in the engine. Oh f???!

My driving career ended for a little while until my Dad accepted my stupidity as young ignorance.

Whew!